The Grail Tarot says... pas a pas, se va luènh!

I was planning to do a simple daily reading, but then I realised I have something specific to ask today. During this whole week I've been feeling slightly panicked, as though something bad is about to happen. Therapy has helped me see it probably has psychological roots. Even so, I wanted to know the origin of this fear, and what can I do about it. So I did a 3-card reading with the Grail Tarot.

The first card is the root of this fear, its origin. The card is 19 - Bors (The Sun), which is a strange card to show in a fear reading, as the Sun symbolically stands for courage. In the image, we see the round table knight Bors inviting the Grail Seeker to a friendly wrestling as to remind him that even though he's in a spiritual search, the physical part must not be forgotten – it must be enjoyed too. As the root of my fear, I see the Sun as exposure... as though I was wrestling against someone and they thought it was friendly, but I don't see it this way. Under that clear sky and the shining sun, I feel like my lack of abilities is exposed. I don't have what it takes for this fight, even though it isn't meant to be serious.

The second card tells me how can I manage this fear. The card is 8 - The Commanderie (Justice), and it's one of the many Templar fortress that were built through Europe and the Holy Land, to be religious and administrative centers and provide a safe haven to the knights and their allies. This card is all about protection... but it does not mean isolation. Nor does it mean sitting in a corner and crying. This card speaks of actively creating this sanctuary, overcoming obstacles and becoming stronger. This fear can only be surpassed if I find it in me the will to go on despite the problems. I'll strengthen my inner fortress, thus creating a place within myself in which I can be strong, without being isolated. I need to find a way to feel secure.

The third card is the lesson to be learnt from this fear. Here is have the Nine of Stones (Pentacles), in which the Novice, after learning his lesson from an hermit professor, is prepared to follow his path again, this time with a bit more of wisdom and understanding. The journey is never easy, this card says, and there are many things to be learnt, sometimes in painful ways. But we must not only overcome the difficulties, but also enjoy the good things we have achieved. The Novice isn't a Master yet, and he will make many mistakes, but he's better than he was when he started. I fear because I cannot see how much I have grown... It's time to give myself some credit, and some comfort.