The Arrow of Truth

The Truth.

When people look for card-readers, that's usually what they are after. An answer to a question, a missing piece of information, a future development – and always the truth. But sometimes, delivering the truth is more difficult than it seems.

I have confess that, in my experience, 100% positive readings are rare. Almost all readings, even good ones, have a catch. There's something you must change... something you must let go of... something you must do in order to reap the rewards. But if the general feeling of the reading is in accordance to the querent's wishes, it's much easier to talk about the small stumbling blocks.

Handling the arrow of the truth becomes difficult when the reading is not what the querent wants. Nobody likes a no!, no matter how prepared they think they are to receive it. And if the querent is certain that the answer will be a double yes!, then the task becomes even harder. Furthermore, there are times in which people think that they want the truth, nothing but the truth... but when the truth is shown, they close their eyes. As readers we cannot force them to accept the message – but we still have to find a way to deliver it.

So... how to shoot the arrow of truth without stomping on the querent's heart with hobnail boots?

Some readers don't care much about this. Their style is 'blunt', and they deliver the message as it comes. I know that some people don't mind this, and some even appreciate the sincerity. But being a very sensitive person myself, I know I could not endure this in a moment of vulnerability - and I know that many querents ask for readings in difficult times, when they are feeling hurt, weak and frail. So I try to put myself in their shoes before saying that "it's so bloody OBVIOUS that he doesn't care about you anymore!". Nothing is obvious when emotions are involved.

I am not implying that a reader should lie to the sitter – never! You can be fully honest, and still be considerate. I go against the idea that card readers should go around pushing 'reality checks' down everybody's throats. I think that whenever we have to shoot the arrow of truth, we must dip the tip in a bowl of honey.

So you sugarcoat the message, eh? No. Sugarcoating means making something appear better than it is. Being tactful means delivering the message in a way that the other can receive it. I want my querents to understand the message and use it in an empowering way, even if it's apparently negative. I don't want them to be traumatised by it. I think that a harsh slap across the face is just as unhelpful as a lie.

Brutal honesty should be used as a final measure, for very troublesome querents. And if things became this bad, I'd reconsider my ability to help this person, and would probably refer them to another reader. We don't have to lose our sanity because of rowdy sitters.

There's no recipe, and eventually every reader find his or her own way to deliver the more 'negative' readings. When confronted with this problem, I try to remember how I'd like to receive a similar message. My inner answer usually is: in a compassionate, honest and encouraging way. In a way that does not make me feel silly or exposed. In a way that helps me to see both the light and the shadows of my situation. And that's what I try to convey to my sitters.

I know that sometimes I'm not successful, because I am human and I have bad days too! But I think it's important to keep exercising our kindness when shooting the arrow of truth through the heart of the others. You don't have to be brutal to be honest.