Thursday, May 10, 2012

PCO: ...and that's why I did not go.

This reading was done on Monday, May 7th.


The situation was: in a couple days, there will be an international conference about digital books in another city. This time my company will not pay for it (as they did last year), so I am considering using some of my economies to go. Because it's so close to the date of the event, I'll probably pay more for the flying tickets, hotel and the conference registration itself than if I had bought it all earlier... I have some saving but I'm far from wealthy and such sudden expenses are never good. However, if I want to go, I can do it.

Why did I wait so long? Well, my company only confirmed that they were not going to fund my trip to the conference last week, although I have been asking them about it for at least a month. Furthermore, they have decided digital books are not making as much money as expected... we ought to keep doing them, but they aren't going to invest more than needed, and that includes going to events about the subject.

But I make digital books. It's one of my functions here. And it's also one of my trades. Something I could offer to other people, other companies. Yes, this conference interests me very much. However, I am aware of the mental and financial strain a sudden decision can cause me. So I consulted the cards.

The question was: what do I need to know about suddenly going to the conference?

Head (/Fire): 5♣
.
Throat (♣/Air): 7♠
.
Torso (/Water): 3
.
Feet (♠/Earth): 8

The 7♠, Sword of Destruction, glares at me. But I try to not base my whole interpretation on one card. So I move to the Foot, where we have the 8. It's a good card for business. It tells me that, regarding my work, it might be an important experience, I'll learn the more about the product I work with (ebooks) and be with people who specialise in it. Through them I'll expand my views. With the 3 above it, signalling growth, it seems sure that going is the best option, professionally speaking.

But the spread is more than two cards, so lets move up. The Sword of Destruction demands my attention, but I focus on the 5♣ instead. The Wind Cape. A card of mental chaos, confusion. Surrounded by friendly cards, it can represent an influx of new ideas.

But we have the sword beneath and it's usually not friendly.
And that's why I decided not to go.

What!? You gotta be kidding me! Nope. First, the Sword of Destruction really caused a great impression on me... by going, I'd probably disturb something I am not sure I'm ready to change yet. My stability in my job. Perhaps I'll use my own sword on it, in the future, but right now I don't have the emotional conditions to do so.

Besides - look at the spread! The chaos that this sudden decision would cause inside my mind (because I am anal-retentive and don't deal well with sudden decisions - I like to plan) would destroy my enjoyment of the conference. See the Sword? The 5♣ holds the hilt. The blade points to the Diamonds cards. The 3 is reversed... the cup is upside down, spilling its contents, and the Cauda Draconis is a herald for endings and problems. I am not ready for either.

And the jolly Diamonds? They could pretty much represent the amount of money I'd spend, which may not equal the amount enjoyment I'd have under such stress. Had a more positive card been in the Throat position - the position that connects everything - my interpretation might have been different.

And that's why I decided not to go. Next year, if I'm still here, still working with ebooks, I'll plan ahead. Save money, buy things early, do it my way. I'll not wait for the company. And should the Sword of Destruction appear again, I hope I am readier to handle it.

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