The Triple Goddess in the cards?

Recently I had the opportunity to explore something I never paid much attention to: past lives. The reason why is because I never truly felt that I believed in them, even though most pagans (at least the Wiccan-inclined ones) do. And it's interesting because on my mother's side of the family, which has many Umbanda practitioners, reincarnation is a common belief.

But you know me. Too sceptical for the mystics, too mystical for the sceptics. It's how I roll.

I had the opportunity to be participate of two past life regression sessions, and the results were... interesting. They certainly gave me food for thought. I won't delve much into what I saw during the sessions, but it suffices to say I was shown that my path has not begun now – I have been doing what I do for more than one lifetime, and at some point I was punished for my beliefs.

And I have been thinking a lot about it. Whether past lives be real or not, if the images came to me as specific as they did it's because they hold meaning for me. It's a story I need to tell myself because it reveals something about me... like my intense feelings of loneliness, isolation and inadequacy when it comes to my own spiritual urges. The constant need to hide, to protect myself from the scrutiny of others, even though I am not doing anything wrong. And so on.

So this week, I did a small ritual asking for guidance, before the statue of the Triple Goddess I have on my altar, and afterwards I pulled four cards. My question was something along the lines of "what do I need to know about these past life experiences I had?". I was asking for a sign. These were the cards:

My first impression upon looking at the cards was of... disbelief! It couldn't be, right? Not that obvious and clear. And yet, that is what I saw: the top three cards as the Triple Goddess herself! Morgana (Q♠) as the Wise Crone, Dèja (Q♥) as the Fertile Mother and Terrene (10♠) as the Earth Maiden. It felt like confirmation that my petition has been received and that the Goddess, in Her three aspects, is with me.

But I was puzzled by that 4♠ in the Foot position, since the North Wind it is a card I usually associate with situations that make us lose our footing and/or the need to look for protection (a warning). The description in the Doors of Somlipith book says: The cold force this Wind delivers will either strengthen and fortify you or shred you to pieces. Ouch!

Thankfully, I received some interesting insights when sharing this reading at the Black Ace Academy. Nicky, bless her soul, proposed the following interpretation:

I have received the 4♠ quite a lot recently and I've found that it makes a big difference when it's in a dignified position. For me that brings out the more positive sense of fortification – not necessarily easy but you'll feel stronger for it. In fact, I wonder if this period will blow those courts upright to their rightful position, correcting the recent imbalance.

...which makes absolute sense! Of course, the card is in dignified position, so it would manifest its most positive aspect, like a force that strengthens through challenge. The experience might be intense and unsettling, but the goal is to reorganise and rebalance, thus making us stronger.

There is also special attention to be paid to Dèja (Q♥), since she's the only red card in the whole spread. Her closed eyes seems to invite me to take seriously that which my inner vision and emotions say. She's an intuitive queen, connected to the waters of the collective unconscious. She knows that events do not have to be factual in order to be meaningful to us, because inner realities exist by different rules.